I don’t feel I should have to explain my art to you,Warren. Read more

I kinda hope Belichick steals the 49ers job from Kyle Shanahan. That way, Shanahan gets to experience what he did to the world in the second half of that Super Bowl, and Tom Brady has to watch Jimmy GQ winning with his childhood team. It’s a colossal win-win.
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I’d hand the whole organisation over to a panel of former gymnasts, like Aly Raisman. They’re about the only people who could regain everyone’s trust.
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When I saw Luke milk an alien.

I found this bone-chilling. Like finding out Voldemort knows your address. Read more

Once, when I was on a Spirit Flight, a man when a man started having chest pains. So the flight attendant made an announcement and asked if there was a doctor on the plane. Read more

Exactly - this was just too similar to a spreadsheet. I go to work to bullshit on Deadspin, not vice versa Read more

Elliott should’ve learned his lesson. A true football player doesn’t stand in the middle of the field. He should stand alone on the sideline with his helmet and a darkened visor covering his face while his team gets whooped Read more

I remember Murphy Brown! ...Although not enough to tell you episode plots or even what it was about, and I’m almost 32. I definitely remember​ watching it with my mom though. Read more

On a very deep level, I am morbidly curious as to what Ashlee and Diana and/or Ashlee and Tracee talk about at family functions. Read more

I agree with all of the above. Read more

oh boy

AAAnd she never lost no sleep over it, boyyyyy. I love her forever. Read more

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Just putting this here for the folks who aren’t clicking through to the Billboard article:

I know as soon as he said that, I thought well he’s done. He’s going to be all in love, make a dumb decision, and then get killed. Read more

“they all roll out as an adorably coordinated sugar-fueled cheer army” Read more

True story, I dated a guy who lived down the street from the ice cream truck depot in the West Village. Around 5pm, every summer evening, they all roll out as an adorably coordinated sugar-fueled cheer army. The jingles were always delightful because even though they were loud, they just sound like happiness. Read more