Everyone knows jet fuel can’t melt a Lombardi Trophy.

Personally, if anyone should have a Vanderpump Rules spin-off, it should be SUR’s amazing cooks. You know, the ones who had a ball with Kristen’s downfall.

Federal law says that if you’re delayed more than 4 hours, you’re entitled to 4x the face value of your ticket Up to a max of $1300.

I don’t know if I’m crying because laughing or laughing because crying. Either way

My mom just told me that some people don’t find someone, and that’s okay!

Lets start a club to go Golden Girls. #alsodyingalone

When you realize Omarosa found someone who is OK with being married to her, but you haven’t made it past a first date in almost 3 years.

I thought it was because Triple H didn’t want to work Tuesdays :)

bradshaw was a boring wrestler and is a terrible announcer and a grade-A asshole by all accounts who definitely never messed with brock or kurt angle during their tenures but never forget that all 5'7" of joey styles knocked his ass the fuck out on an airplane once

This show would be incredibly boring without Kenya. #fact

privilege means never having to say you’re sorry...

Imagine what you could do if you had Kushner’s misplaced self-confidence AND you stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last night.

I think that was what really galvanized us to take our misguided actions. Someone had scared her, and and we were outraged by that. Nobody was going to scare our babysitter. Of course we likely traumatized her much more by taking up arms to defend her honor, but we were pretty little kids.

This is not an April Fool’s story but my brother and I are Irish twins (a prank unto itself) and one summer night when we were both 7 for a few weeks we had a very nice teenage girl babysitter. Her teen friends typically thought they were funny and were going to prank our sitter by coming over after dark and tapping…

That’s fucked up and I am picturing the kids on the editorial board laughing about it. In my head they are all wearing blazers and loafers and look like Paul Ryan.

To kick this off, you must know I have a paralyzing fear of ET. My junior year of high school, my “friend” aka person who I hated but tolerated because it was a small school and she was friends with my friends, stole my car keys from my backpack during lunch and slipped them back without me noticing.

This will never show up. because I’m gray, but it is the shittiest prank anyone has ever pulled, IMO. Partly because it happened not on April Fool’s day, but on my birthday.

I know American elections are done via secret ballot, but sometimes you can just tell.

BARGON WANCHI KOX PAA, SHAQUILLE ... HO HO HOOOOO