What are the odds he takes a shortcut and becomes a policeman?

This is my favorite basketball camp attendee humilation:

GET OFF THE STAGE SODBURGER

You know Prince would not approve.

Like a real life Bobby Newport?

Ahem.

Uncle Joe’s speech was doing fine, until he plugged his electric guitar into the amp, and did Eddie Van Halen’s entire guitar solo from “Runnin’ with the Devil”. Once Joey gets three or four cans of Beast Light in his system, there’s no stopping him. When Joe started licking suggestively at the crowd, aunt Hill…

“Dammit, Janet!”

Same!! I would so buy a Dads of the DNC Calendar

My takeway from last night is that I have severe Daddy issues because I could not stop thinking about Obama, Kaine and Biden in that way. Like yes, please! What does it all mean??????

I had this on my wall in 7th & 8th grade

HBK tuning up the band into Sweet Chin Music. Don’t @ me.

Not true. Sometimes they order Chinese from that pancake place.

It really was the only food they kept in house, the only other food they brought into the house was pizza.

Have you like...uh...ever ....watched the show? OF COURSE IT’S NOT.

Well it’s either her or King Joffrey.

But, really, there are plenty of women who disavow that crap but I have to say to people of all genders—you’ve gotta give us something to work with!

Would this be a good time to go over some of shadier parts of Mariah’s life? God, I love her!