Good friend of mine gave the toast at his older brother's wedding. Prior to the toast he proceeded to absolutely shit faced. He ended up rambling for a good 10 minutes about playing G.I. Joe in the back yard and any other number of mind numbing topics before he got the hook. The silver lining being the Dad's quote…

Not for nothing, but iceberg lettuce actually does have nutritional value. Vitamins A, B's, C and K. And it also has potassium, folate and manganese. Suck on that spring mix!

Seattle fan down the hall from me at work let out an audible yelp when this news broke.