REMINDER: paid mods aren’t going away, Valve is just going to go back and try it somewhere smaller.

Big black market for smuggled in cell phones.

Fruit-on-the-bottom fix: Shake vigorously before peeling top open. It sounds like going down on an elephant (I ASSUME) but makes it all perfectly blended

I just tried to lick every part of my body possible...No knees.

That kid is a very good sport!

In retrospect, football was sort of a thing he fell ass-backwards into for a while despite being an irredeemable turd. The most interesting aspect of this case isn’t that a football player was just convicted of murder, but that a murderer actually managed to have a short pro football career.

Whew, finally. Hideo Kojima isn't going to make MGS anymore. He's going to leave Konami. We can all finally stop with all of our twittering and pleading and hashtagging and Facebooking and snail mailing and regular e-mailing and pigeon carrierin—*remembers Silent Hills existence*

Ohh shit! He can't leave Konami yet!…

Did any check under the orange box?

See, that's fucking good. I'd rather hear that than any number of pop-country singers dragging the thing out into a 12-minute power ballad.

So we're all clear on this, it wouldn't be okay if someone wrote, "Greg Howard is Deadspin's best writer and flashiest race-baiter!," right?

Here at Deadspin, we find everything to be racist.

Seriously? Your over-sensitivity is under whelming. Has it occurred to you that maybe this kid is their best athlete and/or flashiest player?

On to the front page now, Greg Howard, their best race-baiter, most sensational writer!

I'm just gonna put this out there and say that sex doesn't always trump masturbation. There are times and places for both, man.

It's using a pollution-free, non-toxic glycerine.

This Rondo-on-Rondo violence has to stop

There is no place in the article that explains how they would enforce this.

That picture is misleading to the point of being dishonest. Security guard wasn't putting his hand behind his back, she was leading him away. Watch the video.

there's always one ... :))