I’ll have you know that my penis, when I allow it access to a computer and the internet, only rants about people who talk on their phones in movie theaters.

Is it just a coincidence this banner ad was beside this story?

Quick, get a Changli logo onto that Karma and post it in Torch’s “brain-hurt” story!

Two of those people are women. Two of them!

Remember when Lee Harvey Oswald assassinated JFK with the Texas Book Depository?

I get the parent’s grief. But blaming some locker room attendant for running out to score him some drugs and not Skagg’s himself is some next level denial. His death is indeed tragic and I wish he got some help, but it was his decision to make this fatal mistake. Jamming up some underling is bullshit.

“Look, Coach O’Brien, we know you coached football 10,000 hours last year, but you also changed the toilet paper roll once, so now you make $7.50 an hour, OK?”

Why would the NFL rethink this? It benefits the front office at the expensive of the players - it’s working perfectly in their eyes. 

I guess for Nathan Peterman that’d be safety?

Trust me, I eat less than many guys I know that much smaller than me. Everyone’s body metabolizes food at different rates. My metabolism seems nonexistent at times. I don’t overeat, if I did, I’d weigh 500lbs instead of 250lbs. This doesn’t even factor in those who are overweight due to mental illness. Ever watch My…

“Being overweight is a choice people make.”

I was at Georgia when he played at Kentucky.  I will never forget watching our entire defensive line hit him on several plays and him not going down.  Hell of a fun player to watch.  RIP man.  Way too young.

As someone who has struggled with their weight since childhood, while I’m sure nicknames like “Hefty Lefty” and “Pillsbury Throwboy” seem harmless and were probably laughed off in public by Lorenzen, they hurt, and play a larger role in him eating his way to 500 lbs than anyone is acknowledging. For some reason,…

I went to Tennessee while he was playing for Kentucky. The thing that was most surprising about him was that he could run the option well enough for them to throw in a couple speed option runs every game, even though his game was really pocket passing. 

I followed Jared’s career during and after football. He always seemed to be a guy sportswriters we’re attracted to; a big guy that could shimmy his way out of trouble. After he was done playing in 2015, I read an article where he discussed his weight and how it dogged him. He wanted to be different but, as he put…

I understood that reference.

Yeah. I actually liked him more as I read down through his tweets. So that kinda backfired.

He can do this all day.

Counterpoint: No, he doesn’t. He’s a genuinely good person who is imperfect, like everyone is, but is actually willing to learn and grow.

I think we’re gonna need a bigger belt.