Drink... More... Ovaltine. 

You won me with “child’s poop schedule”

Simple Solution: Obedience School for Secret Service Agents. 

My dog is an absolute idiot and the worst judge of character. One of my neighbors is a Trumper; she’s racist, has no moderation filter so she says what she thinks, and I can’t stand her. My dog thinks she’s the shiznit.

I never thought of “health code violations” as a nickname for Trump, but that works.

Unlikely.  Just look at him.  Clearly a Trump in features.

I felt like I was in a relationship with a humanoid golden retriever.

Yeah I learned the hard way. After 4 years of a fun, loving, and omgzzzzzzz-sex-filled relationship with a delicious himbo, we were eating a dinner I made. I looked across the table and realized this guy didn’t ever have that light on behind his eyes.

Intellectually challenging, probably not. But it is without question one of the most competitive residencies, and Vanderbilt med school is one of the best in the country. So yes, his fiance must be top of the top to get it. Tell Paul Stanley and Billy Idol I apologize for calling her a rock star.

Taylor deserves a himbo rebound. Good for her. 

“You wanted to score, but I wanted more”

this will be so unfortunate, living in florida those kids won’t be educated properly, unless he allows them to be tutored by a real educator.

Just here to say that I gladly volunteer to get Eiffel Towered by the Kelce Brothers.

All. Conservative. Accusations. Are. Confessions.

This from Yelp made me laugh like few other things.

This is hilarious and would be even funnier if she weren’t a sitting Congressional Representative who has real power to make people miserable. What a filthy hypocrite. Every hate filled word out of a fascist Republican’s mouth is a confession. Their insane lack of self awareness and their overpowering self hatred…

I was genuinely more shocked she was in a theater to watch a performance, than by her subsequent behavior.

Yes, they obviously know who you are, which is why they, probably, cackled themselves to sleep last night.

“Do you know who I am?”

I think the best part will be when Rudy comes for the money and he says “Minus the expenses you owe the resort $2M”