I’m glad my death will contribute to advancing the story line. It won’t be like Paris Hilton’s death in that early aughts House of Wax remake.

Rustic makes me think that I’ll probably need a tetanus shot when I leave. Or that lead paint dust is likely in the air.

yeah I know some people with a butler’s pantry in their house too. it was super cool...but narrow. I think “pantry” is generous. Or at least in this case, but I also live in New England and I feel like we take lots of words to describe things that aren’t really what they originally were used to identify. For example,…

yeah these are all bad words...but I am totally that guy at the beginning of a horror movie whose just moves in without care. but I am also the guy who immediately gets scared and dies in some self inflicted panic accident.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Demi Lovato did something again. Anyway, back to the shirtless pictures of Andrew Garfield! That man is just so hot. Yes, I’m a grown ass adult man, but dude! Alright...back to work.

Everyone has seen Tommy Lee’s dick already. There was a whole film of it. Then there was recently a film about the film of it. No one cares about it anymore.

But think of the frogs. They don’t deserve that! Can we just put him on Mars? Or randomly in space?

So if fecal matter stays in the air, should anyone actually eat that fruit? Oh, wait, those two don’t eat actual food, right?

Which is weird because this kind of comment makes me think they likely bought DT Jr’s “Triggered”. (I’ll spare everyone the book cover.)

I have no idea if this is supposed to be trolling, but I am hopeful it isn’t because I find this freaking hilarious.

This Dirt Bag lead is just the media plot arc of Marry Me, the movie I decided to watch this past weekend. Both are dumb:

Logan Marshall-Green has a twin brother?!?!?

Just one? Okay...Tom Hardy. Hands down.

Capes! This speaks to me and if I don’t one day own that gold leaf caftan I will not have lived my true self’s life.

It is almost like Kim is treating her child in a way that seems to mirror her experience. Oh wait, she is. This is learned behavior and the cycle is hard to break.

I feel like this is a competition we don’t need to have.

Naomi Campbell wore a huge gown with a fancy neck collar

Why hello Mr. ruler of Canada.

Eh, Andrew Garfield looks great. That’s a good suit in the world of suits. Zach’s fits okay, he is just TV proportioned with a giant head. The shoulders and length look okay though, no?

Britney needs a Bodyguard type renovation of her security system. And, yes, everything I learned about pop star security comes from an early 1990s movie starring Kevin Costner.