The Iceman Expandeth

Also, it's good with the press.

We gotta listen to Olbermann on this. No one knows more about getting fired for being a dick.

Update: Mike Tyson Elected Mayor of Toronto

There was also a version where a pie chart was used, but it didn't last long.

My favorite comment from that article:

Money quote from the same article:

panties OFF.

Yep. You can replace "Ravens" with "NFL" and it's the same thing. It doesn't matter who did or didn't see it. They were never going to give much of a shit until WE saw it.

You mean the same league that deliberately lied about the long-term effects of concussions lied about a video?!?!?

"I didn't technically see it...."
-Roger Goodell, after poking both eyes out with a hot andiron

Yeah, BUT WHO is going to do the heavy lifting? Apparently only TMZ can do any factual journalism.

Here's an excerpt from the scouting report. And, I'll admit, it does contain a fair amount of racial coding:

"She was clearly provoking him. Women need to learn not to provoke men like that"

You should team up with the Penn State folks who argue long and loud about how horribly unfair Joe Paterno was treated after he knew one of his closest staff members was raping children.. You guys have a lot in common.

Well, so much for "But we didn't see what really happened in that elevator."....

Man, the Seahawks are going to be [sic] this year!

improtant

Once upon a season dreary,
while I pondered a weak secondary
And dreams of many quaint and curious playoffs of forgotten lore
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came thunder clapping,
As of reporters fap fap fapping, fapping at Ray of yore
What murder? Sell some jerseys! Bilk the fans! Forget the gore!

Most of the graph is at least somewhat reasonable, but the Eagles' and Giants' placements make no sense. The Eagles have been consistently good as an actual team (should be on the left side of the x-axis) and should be no lower than 5th (Pats, Redskins, Cowboys, Raiders) on the douchebag scale, while the Giants…