I will admit I’ve not been paying enough attention to the campaign so far (at this stage, well more than a year out, I figure there’s plenty of time left to get depressed, and at least it will be over fewer idiots), but does Fiorina always look so much like an egg styled by a nearsighted drag queen?

I just now got a robocall from Carly Fiorina offering to mail me a petition to get a measure on the ballot that prevents minors from receiving abortions in California without a parent/guardian signature. The recording started with: “Did you know that a 13 year old girl in California can get an abortion without her…

Thank you, but it’s alright. I could not think of a better example of where those awful pictures actually come from than my own. Had I been older I might’ve thought to get a lawyer. A lot have been skimmed from sites like those. I have been told those awful photos of shredded babies are medical photos from traumatic…

Wow. Wow wow wow.

Oh god do you remember that time Kurt Loder interviewed her and called her out on using a word that didn't exist and she kept insisting it did? It was so cringeworthy and kind of mean and I wanted to cry for her.

I find her talking less annoying than her singing. That baby voice. Trying so hard. It’s like the audial equivalent to Renee Zellweger’s face.

I hate it when guys say this. I honestly hope that guys who hold the “sex on a first date” thing against women never have sex again.

It was bad enough when he said he wouldn’t respect a girl if she’d have sex with him on the first date... I mean, not only is it sexist, that’s a basic logic fail! You’re not going to respect her because she did the exact same thing you did?

Is this real? I will gift you Jim Morrison poetry.

Her poetry will change your life though.

I feel like Ryan Reynolds is always supposed to end up as the next big star (see: Chris Hemsworth, Chris Pratt), but has been at this point for four years and never fully gets there.

Ah yes, “shrill”. Right up there with “bossy” and “aggressive”. Thank goodness he keeps reminding us how much he cherishes us or I might have taken this the wrong way.

Or like he was a minor who should not be questioned without his parent present, or (if he were an adult) had the right to remain silent....

Ya got your dates a little out of order (WWI & II then Cold War/Red Scare), but I hear ya.

Or that he had asked for his parents and/or a lawyer and the police refused, so maybe he knew his rights as an American citizen and refused to answer questions. What a thought!

And it’s almost like he has literally no legal obligation to tell them anything.

“Countdown clocks” are a thing. They’re sold in most stores under the name “Kitchen Timer.” Even if the kid had built a countdown timer of some sort, who in their right mind would immediately assume he was going to use it to detonate a bomb, instead of using it to determine when the brownies should come out of the…