I labored for 13 hours and my midwives told me that's excellent for first time mom because it can often be much longer.

I wholeheartedly agree with you! Glorious is the perfect word for the relief you feel when it kicks in. My husband still can’t get over looking at the contractions monitor and seeing it spike wildly, all while I was sleeping.

Noooo. My grandmother has told me a few times about what it was like being completely knocked out with drugs (they didn’t ask her permission of course, just decided everything for her, natch) then used forceps while she was pretty much passed out to yank the baby out. They can do so much damage like that.

FYI, folks who haven’t pushed a baby out: my shit was also wrecked, but my vag was as tight as ever after about year. I did literally nothing, too. Just, like, 2 kegels whenever I happened to read the word “kegel” in my everyday life. I’m not doubting the author’s story, just saying that there is variation.

Amen to that. The only thing I snarked in my head over was

“Donda myself” is pretty tasteless though.

Look what I bought my cat

“Bris Penner”

Oh, I didn’t even bother blowing it up - I just thought it was demon eyes all along.

At TWO WEEKS? Bullshit.

As a single Mom who has had the opportunity to be home with my child thanks to the help provided by my parents and his Dad, my heart breaks for you. It is a tough decision either way. You did not fail your child.

The problem—and this is just my personal experience—is that “being there” is often on the adult’s terms, when children are generally so much better off being taken on their terms.

This is my takeaway as well: bonding??? What about just HEALING?

Can I ask who took care of your newborn? I imagine it’s very difficult for many women to find affordable, trustworthy help especially without a subsidized childcare program. Who looks after the baby for all these women who go back to work after two weeks? there’s not a lot of places that offer paternity leave.

I was still bleeding and passing clots the size of golf balls two weeks after giving birth. I think that was about the time all my stitches started itching, too (3rd degree tear from hell). Peeing was okay, but taking a dump left me weeping for many weeks. I felt like I was accomplishing something if I could walk…

I had to go back to work when my youngest was ten days old. It was heartbreaking. I couldn’t continue to breast feed, my body doesn’t produce for pumping. I could only get six weeks off from work with no income. I had to quit working a month before I have birth because I could not stop having contractions. My heart…

And I get where you’re coming from, too, but I don’t know if it’s helpful to detract from the larger issue. No one would stop you from going back to work, but too many people have to go back too soon. You know most of those 25% are doing things like waiting tables and don't have a choice.

Seriously. I had a c section, two weeks later I was fully doped up on Motrin, hormones, and sleep deprivation. Any professional email I sent at that time would have read like Martian poetry.

I can't even fathom this. I was barely walking at that point after my first was born. And not that I'm anti-bottle feeding, but the whole breast choice is kind of fucked in this scenario.

I feel like no discussion of true crime is complete without mentioning the prolific true-crime writer Ann Rule, who just passed away.