They're athletic ideals. These people are all in excellent physical condition. They aren't models. They're exploring the limits of human conditioning. This isn't erotic photography. It is showing the human body at its peak efficiency. It is an embrace of health.

Bow down, everyone to the O.G., the Empress Queen of Bitchy Resting Face.

She's the one whose cheekbones can cut glass. Genetic lottery, man.

Stop trolling me, Jezebel! I totally clicked on this article thinking that my adoration bubble of Dame Helen was about to be burst, but it was only a work of art. I don't know what I would have done if it turned out she was a secret meany pants.

But what if the sister only got them a gift basket?! Or worse—100$?!

I just want to know is there any reason or dissatisfaction of Mike's and I wedding that both you and Phil gave 50$ each?

I could not stomach Martha Stewart's WASP-y perfection until she went to jail, came out wearing a shawl that the other inmates had made her during her stay, and was all like "Appeal my conviction? Fuck that, I have an empire to rebuild! I've got shit to do!"

Soooooo since the last time Jez posted about Soledad O'Brien I actually got to briefly meet her and I'm happy to report that I LIKE HER EVEN MORE NOW.

Ooh u good woman u not wear thing for reason book deal.

See, I think I'd be tremendously jealous of ladies if I was a guy. Bags under the eyes, forehead acne, blotchy cheeks—guys can't really do a lot about those things.

As a libra, I think that no one runs the whole world, just aspects of it, providing ample opportunity for all astrological signs to share the heavy burden of world-running.

Vanilla. Imagine that.

There's absolutely nothing out there that allows men to rate women! Nothing at all. Travesty. /sarcasm