This is fantastic. I would add:

Do not adjust your balls in court. Ever.

This is a great list. After having working in court for about 20 years I would add: Stop obnoxiously flirting with the interns and/or law clerks. It's embarrassing for me to have to watch you swing and miss day...after day...after day...after day...

Awesome, VictoriaNegotiates. Much of this could be directed to any under 35 year old professional male. Even if one is in a job that doesn't require the same level of formality as the law, the general idea is the same.

here is the thing, the landscape of law IS changing. It might have once been conservative, but I love that- largely due to females entering the workforce- the conservative ideas are changing. As a litigator, I don't wear suits, I wear dresses and I don't believe I need to dress dowdy to be taken seriously. To each…

I worked BigLaw and trust me, every woman who has a job there is already hyper-aware of the level of scrutiny their dress, tone and demeanor will get. It started at on-campus interviewing in 2L year. The firms that won't give you a call back if you wear a pants suit or long earrings or large jewelry. Because you're…

So basically, during anal sex your balls are thinking "this tastes like ass".

Further proof of the non-existence of god. There is nothing intelligent about this design.