There is literally no country on Earth more humble than the US of A

Meanwhile, Dan Shaughnessy’s left doing the chores:

Man, I don’t see how they’re going to fill out the roster- oh my god is that Kobe’s music???

He’s hitting .459/.493/.557 with RISP, .417/.481/.487 with men on base this season, and .193/.248/.304 without any runners on. His statcast metrics before he was diagnosed with his chronic knee condition suggested he was making hard contact at excellent rates. Cabrera probably does believe pitchers are pitching him…

Food and soda in a gym. Do you want Morants? Because that's how you get Morants.

something about Drake dapping a fan on the way out like a player who contributed something useful to the effort just kills me.

In defeating the vile Dookies, Rocker threw the first no-hitter in Super Regionals history.

Plus side, we found Bob Costas’s Kinja.

I mean, Double-A is basically the bush league, so...

That’s his number, a 2

Exactly.  Everest has become Coachella.

I always wondered what Eyes Wide Shut would have been like if they’d shot it in Cleveland.

you know, the cropped presentation of the padres logo is just a little... off. 

they tried to track where the lsd came from, but they ended up tracking gentrification instead. 

this is not even the most popular gif of Alex Len in warmups

The real story is how much Mallory Edens (Bucks owner’s daughter, seated next to Rodgers) ages between the first and last videos.

Anderson took the ruling in stride

Here’s something I never thought I’d say: His layups have been gorgeous these last few games. I’m not even normally a fan of layups. Is anybody? But they’ve been... Like, beautiful?

“This one’s goin’ back back back backbackbackbackback aaaaaaaaand.......Gonorrhea!”

If you can’t see any difference between Lamar Odom using a giant rubber black cock to excrete someone else’s piss so that his marijuana habit goes undetected, and a state-sponsored-and-operated effort to both provide athletes with performance-enhancing drugs and avoid positive tests, I don’t know how to help you.