Should have stuck to the rivers and the lakes that they used to

My kid is 5, and I’m trying to get him into baseball. After running through some names with him a few months back, he decided his favorite player was Trea Turner because he’s young (like him) and fast (like a race car, his favorite thing).

Checks out. 

Utahns can see he’s as pure and innocent as a Mountain Meadow. 

This guy was the most Utah Jazz player in the world a solid 2 years before they even drafted him

Another HERO! Don’t let these fucks have one peaceful moment!

+2 “oysters”

We would also accept that, since the white ball went after the Latin player, tRump believes both sides are to blame.

Uppity.

Does...Does this man have two watches?!

“It’s time to go long right now, it’s time to go deep”

No no. You’ve earned that beer.

Wow the shit really hit the fan there.

He showed that adventure is still possible in so many ways.

The American collapse already happened. That’s why we’re not playing in the World Cup to begin with!

I wouldn’t call him an asshole, but he got what he deserved. No one was seriously hurt and the gator got to smack him around.

Don’t sleep on the gator rolling its ass back out of the truck and staring that dude down.

I imagine he would say that about most of Branagh’s Shakespeare work.

Universal access to mental health care? Don’t be silly...we just need to hire a trained officer with a car of their own to prevent these senseless acts from occurring. In fact, if everyone was allowed cars on this baseball field this could have been prevented.