A magical place known as Google. Seriously, I just typed "I love cheese gif" into the search box and it was 2nd result. The internet can be a wondrous tool at times.

I'm on the all twizzler diet, myself.

Aww, it's NEVER the merman.

Meh, all this nudity is pretty fucking boring. I know what naked ladies look like. When I look at pop stars I want to see them in fabulous fucking outfits.

I think "peacock" is a euphemism for the man's intellect and sweet personality.

I PLAY WITH A BLACK AND RED DECK I DON'T FUCK AROUND.

Please. She is wearing a badass red blazer.

I know that feel, bro.

Yup. It's pure marketing—there's no functional difference between regular pressed powder and powder that's pressed into little spheres.

Yes, but Karl, what do the polls say?!!?

Oooh, it took me until now to realize that Perez's nickname for Mischa Barton is pronounced "FART-one". I had read that back when I used to read Perez Hilton regularly (ugh, so ashamed) but I had always pronounced it "far-TONE" in my head and didn't really get it. Probably because I'm not a nine-year-old bully…

I read it and then washed it down with my first sip of coffee, and it was like, "Yes. Let's do this, Wednesday."

Yeah, didn't that just feel right somehow?

bro, do you even lift?

I have an answer.

And that is why she is my sex kitten.

A genuine apology from an individual who is a member of a group that is notoriously known for being extremely sexist?

It is a known fact that only witches and followers of dark magic can fold a fitted sheet in such a way.