Agree- Willem Dafoe never looks good happy, unless he's in drag. Case in point.

HOW DID YOU FORGET THIS SEXY JESUS?!?!

Barack looks GOOD with extensions, says the nice Jewish girl.

What about that part when she's Sexy Carmen Sandiego?

Meanwhile in DC it's not a better deal to get a bottomless brunch.

Question: I think I'm allergic to mascara (I was trying a bunch of different types of mascara, and they were making my eyes swell and get sad) and was looking for a gentle one that also didn't smudge off like crazy in the course of a day.

If you don't, I will. She sounds like someone I'd like to be bros with.

Sounds like I need to whip out something I wrote in college in response to something similarly idiotic.

Who is that sickning queen in the gif?

My boyfriend of almost three years is this fine example of internet beefcake.

My boyfriend of almost three years is this guy.

Hawt. Would read. Please finish.

I think I went to the Muggle version of this school. Although, with the potions they were brewing in the meth lab in the basement, you can never be sure it wasn't Wizarding.

...I'll be in my bunk.

Brava. Let's be friends, and slay SadBros' erections.

Here's hoping that someone thoughtful posts the address of his prison on the internet, just so we can send him brochures on the meaning of consent.

Thankfully, no. I like my lingerie/tain-touching items a little more...matte.

If I wore that with my dude, I think he'd be worried that I'd developed some weird vajazzular STI.

Submissive Urination is a hilarious concept. I feel like it's terrible in reality, but imagine it in humans.

And on every counter, couch, and semi-fuck-on-able surface!!