“Well the good news is now your mom can finally get a belt made”

I have never considered making a slow motion, sepia toned video of me crossing over a fat kid before. Now I know that my life is incomplete without one.

Ackreate (c) DJ Khaled

DJ KHALED HAS HAD THE BEST INSTAGRAM FOR LIKE THREE PLUS YEARS NOW OK.

Are we ruling out the possibility that he’s secretly sworn to the Dallas Cowboys, though?

This kid writes like he’s going to be a washed up NFL punter in 10 years...

You got it all wrong, Samer. You start with the most difficult kid to beat up. Not the easiest. Good lord man, I mean is this your first time beating up kids?? Jeez...

I can’t really blame him, as I also got tired of coming in Stockings after my teenage years.

Well, colour me surprised.

Maybe it wasn’t about the throat slash. Maybe McElwain just saw Taylor’s most recent Calculus grade. After all, these student athletes are in college to get an education first and foremost.

Coach must have a bad temper if it takes only one Kelvin to make him reach the boiling point.

I’m sober and I want one.

unfortunately

Well I’m crying like a goddamn baby now.

Yeah no 20-year-olds in Bayern’s Amateure squad ever go on to do anything worthwhile

I am recently divorced, so I am also giving my best efforts at making a strong showing with the U-23s

Lets let the well-spoken white athletes have the spotlight for a change!

Nope