I have said this before and it never stops being true: Donnie sounds like someone trying to have a serious conversation on a ball of cocaine. I really can’t listen to him talk, and when I read the shit he said, he sounds like a puppy that has too many shiny objects and noise makers around it.

No joke, the cropped version of the dress at the top of this article is the first time I’ve automatically seen it as the “correct” way, which is blue and black. I always see it white and gold normally.

Yeah, except there’s no such thing around here where I live. There WAS a Planned Parenthood, but then they had to close due to lack of funding.

My guess (and I can’t speak for them) is that abortions, while only 3% of what they do, are the most crucial. If they stop performing abortions, then it will be greatly more difficult in most locations for abortions to happen at all. Or, really, safe abortions are what will stop because without PP (and comparable…

as long as the paper material can bend

This is the first time I’ve ever heard of this person.

The lookout man

Judge Randy Stoker should be bombarded with actual mail to his home address, since, ya know — he hates the Internet and thinks it’s a good excuse for rape. But since I’m not privy his home address, he can be reached here:

This is basically the judge’s way of saying “you people are pathetic and should resolve this yourself and neither of you deserves a dog.”

I have a cat named Lady Gaga. She has to wear pajamas because of her over grooming. You can feel bad for her. And also think she is adorable.

Hubz and I dressed up as Blac Chyna and Rob for Halloween and the official Rob Kardashian liked our pic so basically I’m a celebrity - yes it’s very nice to meet me!

I bet Jaleel White burns a pair of suspenders every damn day

I’d be delighted if a stranger just GAVE me some of that “candy”!

If you can’t spout hyperbole and faux outrage over inconsequential celebrity gossip what’s the point of even living?

Well usually they are just locked in a cage so I thought they might like a hug once in a while.

That’d be funny if you were just randomly standing in the middle of a large hallway

I actually met Jonah Peretti once at some tech thing. He asked me if I was waiting in line and I said no and he said thanks.

Ha! I actually saved that gif for the next time a man sends me an unsolicited dick pic. I used to quote the Godfather at them but a picture is so much better.