WHATTTTTTTTT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Learning that was a thing just now was jarring.

Actually, seeing a baby boner is really jarring. I had no idea morning wood was a thing even on infants until I became a mom.

My uncle had a sign by his pool- "This is our OOL. Notice that there is no 'P' in it."

I don't know if I could be that apathetic with a toilet brush in my ass.

Hahahahaha, Tel Aviv University would do this study. My dad was born near Tel Aviv and I never won an argument with that stubborn motherfucker in his entire life.

Nothing "causes that." People who cohabitate before marriage probably have higher divorce rates because many very religious people who are against living together as an unmarried couple are ALSO against divorce. Doesn't mean they're any happier. Correlation =/= causation.

Yeah. I caught my father (who is Canadian) bitching about how natives don't have to pay taxes and my response was:

I honestly don't understand why people go under general anesthesia for a lot of things. Me, I want to keep an eye on what's going on. When I had my wisdom teeth out, they asked me like 50 times if I was SURE I didn't want to go under. I finally had to tell the oral surgeon to quit treating me like he thought I was…

So basically the surgeons approached this circumcision the same way I approach cutting my own bangs:

"I was taken aback by the situation. My two kids were crying," Watson said.

Just wait until he posts his scathing Yelp review.

I have a friend from Nashville staying with me in Chicago. Yesterday while walking to a bus, some guy started hollering at her, even crossing the street to get closer. He finally asked, "where's your man??"

Mark, maybe don't victim blame?

When's the last time you had labwork—? I also have an AID, and as with most of them fatigue is also a symptom of mine, buttttt there was a three month period where I could barely get out of bed and thought I must be flaring. When I got a blood panel done they discovered I was vitamin D deficient and anemic and…

It's his decision, but I agree with you. This guy is bad for business. I used to do hair, and the thing is, if you have one bad stylist, it's bad for the shop. If someone likes their haircut, you're lucky if they tell one or two people, but if they hate it, they tell EVERYBODY, and they don't say "Susie fucked up…

I love all of my neighbors with the exception of this one little old lady. When I first moved in, "Thomas" came down the hill and introduced himself and even shook hands with my slobbering beastie of a dog, Good Charlotte. (This made her positively giddy.) He mentioned his "partner" but gave no name. I thought nothing…

Ultimately, the act of naming a child after yourself as a woman is an act of preserving your own name. But that name is probably your father's name.

I want to see her follow-up of the 6/10/2014, 6/27/2014, and 7/12/2014 events with the duration of intercourse and a column of whether or not she was able to orgasm.

(non-verbal)