At Christmas my friend showed me her toddler son's new favourite toy - some sort of board with an assortment of latches and handles and fasteners he could open and close. It was cute and all, but I pointed out that it was essentially a training device to ensure she could never keep him out of anything ever again. All…

You will take your disappointment back immediately or suffer consequences!

The first sentence literally sets your expectations so you can't be disappointed! I reject your disappointment! Take. It. Back.

This is the Comcast cancel call equivalent in nightclub booking.

If I were there and the child looked fearful or scared or like they needed something, yes, I would have asked the kid "are you okay? do you need help?" or "where is your mom? does she know you're here?" and if the answer is "she works at the McDonalds over there and she lets me play here while she's at work" I would…

I've always thought pistol whipping was the most bad-ass move. I squeal and clap every time it happens in a movie or TV show. (Yes, people stare.) It's like, "You aren't even worth a bullet."

I agree. There is a major class component here. This lady is doing this because she can't afford child care, not because she is stupid. It's not the same thing as playing outside with your friends all summer long, with your mom at home ready to make a sandwich for you. This headline should have read Minimum Wage…

Maybe I'm just a cranky asshole today but this girl better be thanking her lucky stars for nepotism. Her facial expression is as flat as a pancake.

I cut off all my hair.

So sorry for your loss. Maybe you could write something like this, but more detailed, about memories of your friend for the boys to read when they are older. I'm sure they and his wife would appreciate that.

I was freaked out by a diagnosis (bipolar, too, actually), but I try to remind myself that the diagnosis is there to help figure out treatment. You brain is the way your brain is - giving your condition a name doesn't change anything. The diagnosis exists to help your doctor/therapist/whoever help figure out what to…

I feel like you're being kind of hard on Kim here. With the amount of shit she was given about her body and clothes while pregnant, I'm surprised she leaves the house now.

I assumed that Kim Kardashian meant that if you leave the house as a pregnant woman and dare to have any pregnancy style whatsoever that someone will pick you to pieces.

I'm pretty sure I've told this story on Jez before but it bears repeating. This woman was certainly not the worst flatmate I've ever had (actually she was a sweetheart) but she was by far the most unusual. She didn't speak a lot of English, so the week I went home to visit my mum I took great pains to explain to her…

It's true. I wore a red dress to work the other day - you know, in order to signal my sexual receptivity to all of the men I work with - and none of the other gals in the steno pool would talk to me. They gave me the cut-direct, I tell you.

"People tell me 'no, don't do that, they'll just use it to buy alcohol.'"

This comment is gold. Also, "Mousaline" the mouse dictator of Italy.

Uh, where I live it's 13%. But that's Ontario and I get health care in return so I can't bitch too much.