*sits back and waits for all the franchiser applogists*

And you are my college roommate?

In my little sisters bed with my older brothers girlfriend. Total pinkie swear.

It was a call centre. Who wanted depressed employees at work? Blah. I called them into the office, asked if they were ok, they'd break down sobbing, I'd give them the contact info to the free call-in counselling service, and then I'd send them home and tell them to come back on Tuesday. Have a long weekend. Have ice…

yes you were. There are VERY FEW employees who won't give their best for bosses like this.

I'm reading all of these posts and I've come to the conclusion that I was just a nice boss. I had a number of young staff members and I let them take (paid) sick time off during major break ups. An extra long weekend to cry your eyes out and not having to worry about work just makes people work better once they're…

My mom made me go to school after Zack and Kelly broke up on Saved by the Bell. She DID NOT understand compassionate leave and I still don't think I've quite forgiven her.

I wonder how much of this is also so her employer doesn't have to deal with what I'm sure is an exponential increase in paparazzi.

Ooof... I'm sorry to have to be the one to telll you this, because you might inwardly die of emabrrassment or look shamefully at your father the next time you see him, but he was probably politely ignoring you... Like when someone farts in a grocery aisle.

Seems like this is the grocery store paying for the mistake of short-changing customers.

Yeah, problems occur when you stick something up your ass and there's no way to get it out. Luckily, dicks are usually attached to people.

I'm sorry, I don't understand who marriage is for if it's not for people who want to be loved and have their relationship legitimized. That's why I'm getting married. Do I have it all wrong?!

If buttsex is so unnatural, then why is poop dick-shaped?

I flunked skipping in kindergarten, but I more than made up for it in college.

CANNOT BE REAL.

ALSO: his ex-wife is named Gay. He was part of a couple called Gay and Butch Otter.

Like others, the best senior prank was not my year (it never is, is it?). Our school had a tech team of students who would help teachers with technology issues. One of the guys told emailed all of the teachers a "system update". All teachers installed it on their computers, and it was a program that replaced common…

Plus, aren't pranks supposed to be ... kind of funny? Pee puddles are not funny.