They also considered instituting a ban on hitting women, but they didn't want to go overboard.

Holy hell, Bob, rough day?!

Those ears are STRIKINGLY similar.

Over/under on the number of “Cardinal Sin” headlines in newspapers tomorrow: 17,112

Would that be the one that said “Giants 6, Cardinals 3”?

“The Cardinal Way”

I’m sure that it’s just a big misunderstanding. Jesus probably just wanted access to some of the Astros’ proprietary religious player data and asked his duly designated representatives on Earth, the St. Louis Cardinals organization, to take care of getting it for Him. Jesus could never want the Cards to do anything…

Any truth to the rumor that the password used was “Belichick”?

Yeah, give it to the guys who paid the bribes and then got double-crossed!

Sorry to be an overexcited dork but I never thought I’d see a Triple Crown winner in my adult life. Pardon the enthusiasm!

Of course he wasn’t hurt too badly. Sepp’s lesser known brother Rob is a defensive specialist.

Sure:

I really like the beginning of the video where he complains about not getting an advanced warning of his arrest and the charges against him. It’s like he’s used to living in an entirely different legal system in which crimes are negotiated away with money before charges are ever pressed. That part alone convinces me…

Don’t sleep on the Inception soundtrack music in the background:

Usually you have to go a lot further than second base before the Colon is involved.

Can you please give some examples of Russian and Qatari companies that are as big as Budweiser, McDonald’s, Visa, Adidas, and Coca-Cola?

That's not even close to the point.

Roger Goodell: [reads Prince Shembo news]
Roger Goodell: [looks wanly toward corner of his office]
Roger Goodell: [looks back to desk]
Roger Goodell: [furrows brow]
Roger Goodell: [sits contemplatively, unsure of punishment]
Roger Goodell: [begins feeling stressed out]
Roger Goodell: [stands up, walks to corner of his…

He’s old. Maybe he’ll die soon.