you win.

I’m the one person that doesn’t watch Mad Men. Don’t judge me.

OMG yes. And in college, we used to do sex toy parties all the time for birthdays. Like, thankyouverymuch but if I am in need of a vibrator, I’m in need of it right fucking now.

OMG THAT’S SO SO TERRIBLE!

All I think of when I hear about Avon is Kevin Nealon and Weeds.

Nope. She didn’t look dead enough in that scene last season. I’ll believe it when I see them bury her. And even then I might be a little weary of it.

WE ARE NOW ENEMIES FOR LIFE.

Ditto on the dress.

I’ve never been able to put my finger on it, but Padma Lakshmi drives me crazy. No reason. I just can’t stand her. I don’t quite know why I feel so strongly about my hatred for her. Kinda like how I feel about the words “moist” and “ointment”. Something about that “oi” sound. Like nails on a chalkboard.

BLASPHEMY!

I mean, I get that, but I also think that there might be a special place in hell for someone to take advantage of a person with alzheimer’s.

I will always need the extreme saltiness of bacon. No matter if it’s soggy or crispy.

GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!

Mark Ruffalo can get it.

Ah, thank you. I thought it sounded crazy. But I also think delaying a flight’s take off bc of women cooties is crazy too, so I had to ask.

Don’t some only have sex with their wives with a sheet in between them? Did I read that or make that up?

On behalf of all women and also all flight attendants everywhere FUCK YOU GUYS!

Thank you so so so much for bringing this quote back into my life:

You just have to go with bare legs when it’s more formal. You can curse me when you’re freezing your ass off bc you will look so fly.