Maybe it’s for the best if Russia is in charge of us if we’re fighting China. We’re going to need some violent, crazy assholes - lots of them, in fact - if we’re taking on China.

My last boss (who passed away this year) believed there should never be a performance review without surprises. So she would hold onto complaints for up to 6 months to blindside me. This was all a symptom of what a horrible person and manager she was. This, combined with blaming me for a mistake a previous employee…

Right? I work in midtown Manhattan and I’m hoping the bombs fall there at lunchtime and just wipe me out.

My sister’s MIL is like melissamachetes, with an added dose of she’s been “dying” for the past 5 years, so she calls dibs on every holiday meal, because, “this might be my last Christmas/winter solstice/Halloween!” Bullshit, lady. You are going to outlive us all with the cockroaches. She does have cancer and…

True, but my mom was close enough to having a rage stroke this week over Trump being elected, and adding family disharmony might have pushed her over the edge. I’ve settled for liking the posts of all her friends who are telling her what an idiot she’s being.

I’m contemplating this with one of my cousin’s wives. She’s Indian, and not light skinned Indian either! And she posted she could sleep better now that Trump was elected. And it’s taking every fiber of my being to not ask her, “Are you aware you’re not white? Are you aware stupid racists mistake Indian and Pakistani…

Yep, that happened to one of my friend’s kids in CA. Two little assholes told him to go back to Mexico, and he said back, “fuck you, I was born here.”

I was seeing Christopher Walken.

Even worse are the people that walk along the yellow line BETWEEN people and the track. Like, what the fuck is wrong with you??? This must be the same idiots who walk into oncoming traffic and expect it to stop for them. Eventually your luck will run out.

In high school, I got reported to the principal by my homeroom teacher for not smiling at her in the morning. Seriously. She was one of those super perky smily people and I’m not a morning person. I was not rude, I would say hello, but I don’t smile at my mother in the morning and she brought me into the world. So she…

Yeah, and most people just aren’t qualified to take care of elderly and ill people. My grandma stayed with my parents after her cancer diagnosis, but my mom’s a nurse and was retired, so she could handle it.

I like to tell them, “the same people that will take care of you - paid nursing home staff.” Do people really expect their kids to quit their jobs and look after them full time? Are they doing that for their parents? Probably not.

My mother shared that, and I almost unfriended her because of it.

I always try to look at the houses next door and across the street to what they fix up - I always see a lot that look pretty shabby, so maybe there are more than average?

Stuff like this is one of the several reasons I saved up to buy a condo. Owners tend to be more mature than renters and don’t do these things. I actually stole the kickstand off one of the doors in my rental building once because people would prop the door open to walk their dogs and never bother closing it when they…

I’m doing my best to close the gap!

I apparently used to play with Ted Leo as a very young kid according to my mom, but I have no memory of that. I think my mom knew the family from church.

I just moved into a condo, and the house next door is SEVERELY neglected by the owners. There is an entire extended clan of squirrels living in a hole in the roof. On Sunday afternoon, I watched a squirrel pop out of the hole, head to the nearest window, and tear the screen to SHREDS. Took all the screen parts they…

Yes, but....WHERE’S MATT BOMER??? I thought he was in this season.

It was one of the few places where I could consistently find dresses with sleeves!