Preparing for the Armatalon.

Happiness Is An Enormous Bird

Thank you. I'm excited to try this. Question: When you read anything related to Jose Andres, do you do so in the cookie monster voice? I do.

Directions: Grab your keys and jam them in bottom of box. Pull tab on top. Pour into mouth. Drain that shit.

Judge Judy?

Can you believe these Penn State alums don't even fact check? Jerry Sandusky is 68.

"The guy with the scarf? I like the cut of that man's jib."

Sure, but you take one little picture of Mohammed and everyone freaks out.

Everyone responds to these things differently. When Dan Snyder had his Capri Pants stolen, he filed a half dozen suits.

However, when Raymond Babitt inveighed on his wish to watch Judge Wapner, he meant exactly what he said.

The original placard read "This is the last hairless slot you're allowed to see."

If I know anything from my time reading Beckett, we're going to be waiting for while.

And the Hitler will be Carlos Pena

James responded that he's not going to apologize until a reunion with Eric B.

I thought the cliche was going to be that they'd descend into alcoholism in their one-horse Texas town holding onto nothing but idealized versions of who they were at seventeen.

Aryans. If only this had a soundtrack.

Talk about slumming. The lengths some people will go to get out of Emmaus, Pennsylvania.

What direction will USC go this season? Hinesward.

Dick Vitale would have done this with the Duke logo, but he didn't want to look like a date rapist.

I'm pretty sure I saw Marijuana-Induced Psychosis last year at Bonnaroo. Killer jams, bro.