I am still so mad that we had Colin Farrell in FB and had to give him up for Johnny fucking Depp.

He got that “ocean waters” shit after popping an Ambien and watching The Day After Tomorrow.

I think she got a big pass when she clashed with Trump, and no one realized she is a shitty “journalist”. But she is not at all good at her job. Stephen Colbert did a much harder (and better) interview with Oliver Stone the other night than Megyn Kelly did with Putin.

What’s so satisfying about this, in a “it completes the perfect circle” kind of way, is that Trump backed into the biggest political scandal in a generation because he’s a dumbass fuckwit who thought that he could use outer borough-style intimidation on the director of the fucking FBI. Hey, it worked in Jersey, why…

Late show staffs must be so pissed. EVERY DAMN TIME WE FINISH A MONOLOGUE...

Brings this to mind. Only for the obvious aspects though:

He’d be criminally liable for destroying those tapes, if they exist. Another charge of obstruction of justice. Furthermore, having raised the specter of those tapes in his tweet, he’d have to be incredibly stupid to destroy them now.

Clearly they have hidden his phone under a book.

i cant spell restaraunt.

Maybe we talk to the Obama girls about how they felt about pics of their father being hung

Nigel Farage: because naming your kid “Jeeves Wanker” would be too obvious 

“The word is....Covfefe.”

As someone who has had to deal with focus groups, I have one thing to say:

My favorite story about our brush with being rich is my husband inherited a very expensive watch. Better than Rolex (a brand which, come to think, seems very 80s Trump-ish.) It stopped ticking so off to Madison Avenue he went to the showroom, they apologized profusely for letting him down (the thing was at least 30…

Sing a song of Mike Pence,

There are no “both sides” here. That false equivalence is slimy.

For people in the US who don’t know Manchester well. One bit of history that ties the countries together... Manchester was the heart of the Lancashire cotton spinning industry which was by far the largest importer of American cotton in the world. As such, the Confederacy hoped that the UK would intervene on their side…

Well now that they’re pulling out all the classified information, it should be a lot shorter and simpler.

Hmm. Thou seems fond of using the historically plural pronoun “you” to refer to one person. Why dost thou insist on such grammatically incorrect writing? To whom dost thou pander? Or does thou acknowledge that grammar changes over time, and maybe thou should chill the fuck out?

Well we did sort of owe them one since they financed the American Revolution.