MRSA > MRAs.

Let's hope Shaq issues a public apology for his role in this matter.

I thought it seemed like a terrible Mike Myers vehicle - actually, for a moment at first I thought it was Meyers behind the moustache when I saw the trailer.

Yeah, plus he's refereed so many fights you can't expect him to be perfect every time out. He also didn't "almost kill him" like so many people are exaggerating - from my understanding you'd have to hold the choke at least twice that long after unconsciousness to be moving into risky territory. There's a reason all…

Just as we're entitled to mock him for it.

I'm actually surprised we don't see more of this. Fight sports especially, I guess shame is a really powerful constipator.

The best performance in Outbreak isn't even from the stars on that list, it's JT Walsh's single scene. He doesn't even get a name!

I can definitely see where he's coming from with some of the criticism but the part where he starts arguing about whether or not his dead brother was really better at wrestling than him was... I mean, talk about competitive. It might be time to let that one go.

• COVER OF OLD TIME DESK FELL HITTING PENIS

If I ever have a band we will be called "Festival of Conviviality."

Wait, is this a real story or is this the plot of the next RZA movie?

Short time all four lights are red? That's the whole goddamn time!

Nice.

So, this guy has a medical condition where if he gets at all stressed or excited he might die? Can we team him up with Jason Statham for a really weird take on Crank 3?

Traffic fines based on income is like the #1 thing they have in Europe that I wish they had here. It seems like such an easy sell, who hasn't been cut off by a Mercedes?

Pshhh, my future kid won't have any time for video games, what with throwing knuckleballs left handed against the garage door for 12 hours a day...

After painstaking research (i.e. I clicked that Twitter link) I can confirm that Clay blurred it himself.

And he hasn't mobilized an army of internet neckbeards to try to dox his wife either!

Why are the people who think whites are superior always the worst examples of their theory?

This is a fair, measured counterpoint that gives me some food for thought. Which is weird, because I could have sworn I was on the Internet.