What the NHL city you WANT to play in says about you:

There was a spy shot a while ago.

"Who?"-Eric Lindros

Dogs make great hockey players despite having no concept of time. Just like Eric Lindros.

The problem was, nobody knew jack shit about Motekiai Langi. No grainy highlight reel, no photos of him in a football uniform, no profile on a recruiting website. Nothing.

They're after our precious fluids.

Humanity has spent five thousand years gathering the collective knowledge to get us this far only to say "Fuck those people, I am gonna listen to Jenny McCarthy and Glenn Beck".

What the hell was that? For all we know it's a movie about a bunch of astronauts, and the black guy is set on fire!

Needs to be ultimately nullified.

The idea of Dan Snyder fucking a horse is completely crude and unnecessary, Kyle. I hope you're sued to the highest extent of the law by that poor horse.

Those remain; it's the icebergs that are gone. The out of touch rich people got their revenge.

I'm also really curious about that Upton commercial. How can some free game (I know it's probably not really "free", but still) possibly afford both Upton and 8 million commercial spots during the NFL and NCAA playoffs?

Whether you watched football or the Golden Globes yesterday, you were likely exposed to a new McDonald's ad

You're welcome. You're getting me a bunch of stars from pointing out how stupid you looked, so thank you.

"Less editorializing, more straight reporting"

If they do adapt him at some point, they should explain that one of his ancestors Americanized his last name to Carter from Kardashian.