Humanity has spent five thousand years gathering the collective knowledge to get us this far only to say "Fuck those people, I am gonna listen to Jenny McCarthy and Glenn Beck".

Needs to be ultimately nullified.

The idea of Dan Snyder fucking a horse is completely crude and unnecessary, Kyle. I hope you're sued to the highest extent of the law by that poor horse.

I'm also really curious about that Upton commercial. How can some free game (I know it's probably not really "free", but still) possibly afford both Upton and 8 million commercial spots during the NFL and NCAA playoffs?

Whether you watched football or the Golden Globes yesterday, you were likely exposed to a new McDonald's ad

You're welcome. You're getting me a bunch of stars from pointing out how stupid you looked, so thank you.

"Less editorializing, more straight reporting"

If they do adapt him at some point, they should explain that one of his ancestors Americanized his last name to Carter from Kardashian.

Son of a bitch! Which one of you fucking morons left Karl Rove in the dryer too long!?

No grade? What, do you expect me to read and interpret your words like a sentient human being? You fucking monster.

Hating your job's HR department is as American as apple pie, big trucks, and getting upset because they can say that word but I can't.

Here's said handler screaming "NO MEANS NO!" at ESPN Deportes reporter John Sutcliffe, and to be fair "No" in English does indeed mean "No" in Spanish.

We wouldn't have to worry about anyone else catching it.

Though not featured in the video, Riley Cooper also enjoys pretending to be a ghost.

Katy Perry has big boobs, which is pretty awesome.