Emmitt Smith: So that’s why they call it an “oldbitchuary.”

god bless peppermint rolls

their fault for their new Ambien wing sauce

I’d have liked to hear what Gary had to say, but I couldn’t stop booing him.

If Detroit ever gets to the playoffs again, I want them to start every home game by making everyone sit through the complete assembly of a 4-door sedan, right there on the ice.

Let’s Fail to Remember Some Guys

Probably just should have used the japanese translation and referred to him as Shiba Inu.

They’re only halfway there. But, to put it a very different way: They’re halfway there.

so what did they think when Wicket decided to befriend Leia instead of hunting her? Is this like people who keep pigs as pets? “You put your bacon on a leash? What’s wrong with you?”

There’d be more but they got laid off.

you got the wrong MatisyahuSerious and the Ragged Tiger, please remove - have a great day!

Foster had seven stops and one H&R Block.

Manzplaining.

That’s the purposeful gait of a Schiano Man right there.

Knowing cats, when presented with the options, Achilles will run to another room and barf on the carpet and then hide under something for a few hours.

Neiko Thorpe and Mike Tyson are not stadiums. They’re bipeds.

If anything, the people of Renton are known for their nuanced but racist understanding of Washington State tax law.

I’d like to formally apologize for having the topics Anne Frank + dating in front of me and failing to include this:

Are we sure she actually petted the dog and wasn’t just examining its suitability as a future coat?

Often times in family systems where there is an addict, there is also very frequently an enabler. It doesn’t have to be someone providing the substance that is being abused, but even just downplaying the fact that a serious problem exists is enabling the addict. When an addict enters treatment, many times the enabler…