Each new Ferrari will also come with a $100 Olive Garden giftcard for that old country taste.

Can you really blame the guy for telling such whoppers?

My Facebook feed would suggest that lack of anonymity isn't the only solution.

Prople are made up of mostly water. All I have to do is put my fist is some ice cubes for a little while then go around punching people for charity.

What next, letters to everyone with the prancing moose?

"So we figured, hey, let's draw attention to racial inequalities in America by walking hand-in-hand out from this inflatable thing with a purple injun on it."

Easy solution: just don't take illegal drugs.

I know I just put myself in peoples shoes sometiems when I see stuff like this and think "What if it was my crazy ass uncle jimbo with the sawed off shotgun for an arm??" I live in Texas, what can I say

He has 16 rounds in his chest because the police decided to take an anonymous callers word as fact without doing any very basic fact finding.

Prediction: This is going to get someone killed and someone else put in jail for a long time soon.

Big butts. I cannot lie: according to Harvard professor Daniel Lieberman, our glutes are "running muscles."

Ok, first, Texas Roadhouse isn't even a Texas restaurant, and its authenticity doesn't even come close. Not saying the restaurant is bad, just saying that there are a ton of better BBQ places in the area.

Plano is boring. I would quit Toyota before I moved to Plano. Only thing they have going for them is Frito Lay, which I would try to get a tour of because I love chips.

Why does this exist? I don't know. What I do know is that I can't stop watching.

Why did "i" and "b" get deprecated as a method for italicizing and bolding, respectively?

As a Texan, I approve. I'm also open to Conan O'Brien continuing to shoot in Texas.

Something similar is why I will never ride a motorcycle again. I was on my bike when I crept past the scene of the accident- a motorcycle on the opposite side of the braided steel wires that are meant to keep cars from hitting opposing traffic. The grass was no longer green but red, and the ambulance had a trail of…

Those GIF's are priceless.

I specutate dain bramage.

#23: Make everyone cry.