The entire time I watched it, I imagined robot noises.

The actual list of harassing tweets is a fucking mile long.

The original topic was why men should not wear jewelry, but look at this woman for the answer.

I wear no jewelry, not even a watch because I'm 27 and thus have my phone on me at all times. You guys know phones have a clock function, right? I am okay with this post.

We should all wear whatever the hell we want. Despite the title of this article, that's what real adults do. So, if you have a class ring and it makes you look and feel good, go for it.

*sigh* Goddamnit, Luke

I must go, my hovel needs me.

Yeah, no, some things are just so completely ridiculous as to be perfectly warranted of public ridicule. If an organization went around claiming the earth was flat or the moon was made of cheese, the response would not be "well, you have the right to your own beliefs on things", it would be well-deserved mockery.

Skip Scientology, join the Church of Pay My Mortgage. We offer salvation for the low, low price of $1,140 per month - bonus upgrade to super salvation if you take on at least one utility bill as well.

This diagram explains it all.

Scientology: Religion as conceived by The Onion.

Please don't shoot me, I don't know where the Muffin Man is!! PLEASE!!

They couldn't possibly have two different pickups on two similar looking dirt roads in Syria. Must be photoshop.

I wonder what kind of fucking hilljack sees that picture and their immediate thought is that a plumbing company in Texas must be supplying terrorists. The thought process that has to go through their mind to not only make the least logical conclusion but then act upon it is frightening.

Sorry Torch, I did the math and you're wrong. If you run through all the variables and plug them into your equation, you'll find the coziest man-made thing is inside a submersible in the antarctic ocean.

You mean, Before, right?

My body is ready!