He is so goddamn dense that it’s honestly a miracle that he doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the pool and drown every time he gets into the water. 

You’re gonna need the three seashells pretty soon afterwards.

“This is clearly a crime for the internet to solve.”

...the Ravens partnered with consumer genetic testing company Orig3n to give away free DNA test kits to 55,000 fans as they entered the stadium....

You know, you can make jokes about it but I’m just steaming mad about the whole situation. No ifs ands or butts about it, someone just needs to sit this woman down and have a talk. No 2 ways about it if you assk me.

Yeah, a pretty crappy excuse, if you ask me.

Really? You make a drug reference regarding how mellow Jamaica was and you pick Valium? JAMAICA?

Land Rover

What really sucks is the fact that they’re only going to give you $38 for it if you sell it back at the end of the semester.

I’m being told from other sources that the “final solution” is coming soon from the globalists

Looks like 4 screaming frog anime characters. Keroppipocalypse!

I wish the same thing would happen to the people who ask me to put out my cigarette while I’m standing in the smoking area of a building/place

This whole site has gotten so smug and self-righteous. It’s starting to border on insanity.

Little trick I picked up over the years. If you’re fighting from the low ground, you’re going to want to duck real low, so your opponent has to adjust their stance and lean over more to make contact. You’re taking them out of their center of balance and at this point, you grab them by the waist of their pants and…

Dude is enjoying his 15 minutes, and you decide to put him on blast for relatively innocuous comments?

It’s like every beehive they see, they gotta find a stick and poke it, and then they whine and cry and scream and bitch and moan about their bee stings for years afterward.

Aw man let poor Ken be. He doesn’t deserve this. It’s all fun and games till Thiel comes after your ass on bone’s behalf. And then you know what happens? No rice cooker

You just wrote that post on a Note 7 you refuse to part with, didn’t you?

Hello Gawker my old friend.

It sure will lighten your wallet.