I legit cannot come up with a reason not to eat this.

I’m sorry but I need to eat this.

I’m going with Sean Penn. I feel like I’ve heard more young women say he’s hot than say Benicio is hot. Also he seems like he would hang out with dirtbags and wear a baseball hat and have a weird freakout during sex.

“we” are nothing. I have an opinion.

I know which ham sandwich yours is!!

Elle Woods knows nothing.

WAit a minute. I am a Baltimorean. Where is this sushi you speak of? Strip mall???

For fucks sake. I am trying very hard to relate to law enforcement perspective, but I am quite tired of being told to think about how their families feel not knowing if their loved ones will come back after work, and the stress that creates. It amazes me that they demand this while failing to understand how black…

I’m glad there aren’t people all over the world tracking how often I cry in public and why....

Hey, Iggy is the lucky one here. She doesn't have to be married to or tied to a jerk. I suppose Ms. Green is fortunate too as she can live off child support and her dubious fame as a celebrity quasi-mistress.

Unfortunately it’s an unavoidable byproduct of this story.

Kara, are you trying to make me feel bad for Iggy Azalea?

I think the key word is “last year of our relationship”. I wonder if there was any correlation between being abstinent for a year, and that year being the end of the relationship?

Sergeant Stubby!

God the nationalism in this country is fucking ridiculous. FUCKING RIDICULOUS. And guess what? SOLDIERS AREN’T ALWAYS HEROES. Everybody can kiss my ass!

I can’t understand if he hated her or...is just really really stupid? I had my wedding canceled and that was humiliating and painful enough, I can’t imagine having everything published. Both Nick Young and the other woman (if reports are true) are being really heartless here. I feel bad for Iggy.

Me too.

I never thought I’d feel bad for Igs, but I do.

Nick Young is I-C-K-Y.

My dear Kelly, you have not been specific enough in this otherwise lovely homage to my favorite food. You must use, and ONLY use, Duke’s mayonnaise in your tomato sandwiches.