I'd like to point out to Frank_Berns that Italian isn't white. Next you'll try to tell me that the swarthy Greecian can purchase an autocar and motor through my neighborhood? Pshaw.

I feel dumber for having read that article. No, I am dumber, I just got tested.

Spot the Google fanboys in comments below!

Did you copy and paste this from a eugenics text, only updating the numbers? Jesus christ.

Hell of a way to begin collecting unemployment benefits.

Exactly. Batman's like Kasparov - he's 30 steps ahead of everybody. And hasn't he already taken out Superman a few times?

This, Crap Letters from Agro Rec League Players is a fucking goldmine. I enjoy the hell out of it.

Whatever, "Jack Dickey."

I don't know, will he get me a big cash payment?

If Mr. Steigerwald gets beaten to an inch of his life for wearing that child molester mustache, well what can he expect for having a child molester mustache?

I had the bug in the ear too. I was about 12 years old and sleeping over at my friend's house. I wake up in the middle of the night with something banging on my eardrum. We try to wash it out in the shower, which is ineffective. Eventually it stops.

World's heaviest Ken doll.

I'll stick with go-cart paintball, thank you.

Well look. He has a point. There could be scouts at one of these games and this is his only chance to get out of the coal mines of Portland. This team is ruining his chances of making the big leagues!

I just learned something.

j

I get the impression that he isn't smart enough to pull some Andy Kaufman shit.

Love the player who takes a dive at :30.

Giant Dwight Shrute head ftw.

Is SDSU really overrated?