Ha, I thought that was Tom Arnold. The truth is much better!

This experiment with guest editors is a success!

@MitchKayak: Don't. Praise. The machine.

Scott's story has everything an asshole coach story should have. And his clear writing makes him the Shakespeare of the genre.

Oh I see, Deadspin trusts TMZ now? After they sat on the Erin Andrews tape and lied about it?

@Chamomiles Davis: D for readability. I still can't tell who shat what.

Jimmy got beat up for throwing a drink/slapping another dude's girlfriend. I have no idea if any of this is true or not, but let's be honest - with that spiky hair, Clausen looks just like the kind of guy who would do something like that.

Regular season MVP is announced the week of Thanksgiving? The fuck?

@FlashIsBack: What did they put in two cheerleaders, the doctor, the mascot and a teenager sitting in the fourth row?

So they punt, and then they still lose? With no time to score again? #peytonmanning

Netscape Navigator

@Steve U: Reggie Bush's family. #nfldistributionmaps

X Games?

Yes, a question from the late risers: who are you, what are you doing here?

I've never read his column. #billsimmons

@Its The Beer Talking: Oh crap, I totally forgot, ha! #newyorkyankees

NORV! #newyorkyankees

@rulesboy: +1 He's getting meta up in No Fun League. #nflupdates

@J3719: Is your relationship with women as terrible as your grasp of copyright law? #philliesfan

@Phintastic: " It was a stellar costume, with extra credit for effort." and "a dead-on-balls accurate Lil' Wayne get up"