Please, please don't forget the kale in the salad that we will all be laughing at while eating...

Oh the tube sock thing is a great idea! We have the swiffer duster and my daughter loves that. Saturdays she asks, and I quote "when can I get my dust on?" (She's 10.)

I feed my mongrels any lamb/rice formula because one of them has a weird red stomach thing with any other kind of food. Conversely, my father cooks fresh hamburger and fresh rice for his purse dog, and my best friend pays out the ASS for prescription food for her special needs dog. I get having to spend extra for…

Oh I've prepped the kids for taking care of me as well. They're already responsible for dishes, light yardwork (picking up poop and sticks...their dad is missing a couple toes due to an unfortunate/stupid as fuck lawnmower incident and I'm overly cautious there), dusting, vacuuming, and feeding/watering the dogs. …

Don't forget about Kansas! Especially if it involves science, God, or a vagina.

You're welcome!

Totally. Thought foodie was someone who was snotty about eating, not about the cooking.

My dogs would love these. Side note-when they chew on a regular pig's ear, it smells like bacon. Then I get hungry. Then ashamed.

My work is done here.

I hate that she sounds like all my relatives (accent-wise). Every time I hear her say something I'm all..

This whole store:

Pleats at the waistline don't do anybody any favors....

For that to happen, they would both still be in the bathroom now. At least that's how all the ladies at my work play it-if they're poopin they stay in the stall for the whole time someone else is in the restroom. It's like a bizarre smelly game of chicken.

But at Kellerman's our friendships last long as the mountain stands.

I totally agree.

He doesn't need pants.

Until now I had no idea that they sang that. Thanks AnonymousCivilPerson!