Someone to “inspire” them. Because fuck the good of the country, the Constitution, the safety and security of other countries, they need the purest, most inspirational candidate that will make all of the birthdays and Christmases come at once.

Also:

100%. Why wouldn’t you go to Duke? For a student-athlete Duke probably offers the best of both worlds. They have a history as a successful basketball program, so you know that you have a shot to win it all, and are one of the best schools in the country. I’m sure that KU is a fine school, but a degree from Duke means…

This is like something out of the Breitbart comment section. Who interprets a statement like “Duke’s pitch was if you come to Duke, you’re going to be set for life” as some sort of socialist ethos? It’s clearly the complete opposite, appealing to the most basic of capitalist principles: greed. In essence, they are…

This is the favorite thing I have on this earth, and Rocky Marciano give me that. You know what it was, it was his cufflink. And it’s gonna be like an angel on your shoulder. And if you ever get knocked to the ground by a steel beam in a SEPTA station, you’re gonna hear it whisperin’ to ya: GET UP YOU SON OF A BITCH.…

It would be better if he enjoyed the benefit of a work force that he doesn’t have to pay in competitive wages.

So, if you’re Braxton Thornton McDoofus IV from Greenwich its the smart move to choose a school based on its academics, alumni network, and breadth of career opportunities it provides; if you’re an athlete taking those things into consideration (in addition to the athletics/coaching, which are arguably better anyway)…

+11 herbs and spices

Wouldn’t it be super ironic if Calipari were employed at a publicly funded and operated institution?

He wasn’t very articulate, but there’s a colonel of truth in what he said.

Maybe it’s time we start compensating NCAA coaches’ dint of hard work with education scholarships similar to their players.

“The problem with socialism is, at some point, you run out of the student-athletes’ money.”

Well, national anyway.

I’ll admit I thought it was fake when he ran into the pole. I mean who doesn’t see a fucking pole when their head is pointed forward? But after the seeing the second angle, where he falls into a moving train, I thought who falls into a moving train?

“Yeah, I ran into a pole at high speed and bounced my head off a train, but it’s probably not me in the video. I mean, how many Eagles fans does that eliminate, really?”

Unlike the Viking’s secondary, the pole actually did it’s job.

Dan, goddamnit, I was proud of that joke.

...they’re like, “Dude, is this you?” And I’m like, “It’s probably not, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I was a 10-point baby born in India.

I don’t know why I’m disappointed he sounds so reasonable.