@pferde_schwanz: Yes. Rape jokes? People tell rape jokes? Have been fortunate not to meet any of those in the 44 years I've walked the planet.

@shewar: I have a girlfriend who had a chance to bone him 15 years ago, and didn't do it because she loved her husband. She is still happily married to that man, but a part of her really regrets not sleeping with John Cusack.

@Calraigh: My God, this mirrors almost exactly my entire Cusack experience. Can never hate him entirely because of Say Anything and Grosse Point Blank, and still sort of love him, but have heard all the stories, and they're not great.

@shewar: Apparently not. Just ask Neve Campbell, Alison Eastwood, et al.

This will make SinRoo's day!

They're all the same when they're hard, says the hardened old bag in the corner.

@unpossibles: You're right, she did go toe to toe with cops during that poverty protest. But she doesn't strike me as a total beeyatch, however. Or beeyotch? However you whippersnappers say it.

@RyanB: Bingo! I did not need to know that! I was hoping she might win the whole thing!

Lauren looks so much like Sarah Polley that it is eerie, yet is the anti-Sarah Polley in terms of personality. I have trouble getting my head around it!

As mentioned previously, a quick perusal of mrveryhard's previous comments — and nice handle, by the way, you 14-year-old tool — reveals that just about everything he has to say involves speculating on whether a woman is shaven or not.

GLAAD should have run Jay Leno out of town. That whole Ryan Philippe thing was offensive and embarrassing. Leno's asshattery knows no bounds.

Sweet Christ people are stupid. Really — can you not execute the ones who believed for longer than an hour that Conde Nast had bought Jezebel? Please?? They're the very commenters who can't grasp the humour, the wit or the sarcasm of some of your best posts and your best commenters. Use this information and begin the…

Steeny? About the no male commenters thing? I SO agree! But I was thinking perhaps we could have some sort of public castrations of people like Macloserboy and Braak, and then dry their testicles in a beautifully designed sauna — only cedar, of course, and Evian to use for dousing the hot rocks — and then make really…

Maybe she's born with it! Maybe it's Maybelline!

Now I know that everything written here today is an April Fool's joke.

@NefariousNewt: @flyoverstate: I like Blogatrix. And my name's in there!

@Moe: If you're not pissing them off, you're not doing your job as a cutting-edge blog dominatrix.

p.s. Where can I get some uppers? Or about about some Percodan? Anyone got any Percodan?

Fret not, Moe. You're provocative. That's what every writer hopes to be.

@ceejeemcbeegee (star deficient): Exactly! You want to look younger? Reduce fine lines and haggardness? Eat! Eat eat eat!!