@Trashtastic - Queen Bee Extraordinaire!: Bjork has hated Heather Mills ever since they hooked together and Mills boned the Saudi oil baron whom Bjork herself was coveting.

@dosido: Bjork becomes deranged with anger when people mistake her for a Norwegian.

You can see how self-conscious Nicole Richie is about her hooters in this shot — see how desperately she's trying not to draw attention to them:

@NefariousNewt: Bjork hates children.

@BAngieB: Bjork is trying to start up her own flax seed mega-corporation.

@JessicaLovejoy: Backstairsly: Bjork thinks rehab is for quitters.

@JessicaLovejoy: Backstairsly: Bjork is particularly pissed that Kelly Kreth gets a star and she doesn't because everyone knows that Kelly Kreth boned the entire football team last semester and is THAT what Bjork has to do??? Bone the entire football team??? What if she throws a few blowjobs in there too, especially…

@hamburgerhotdog: Bjork is seethingly jealous of commenters with stars.

@lisas: Bjork secretly wanted that baby seal to bite Heather Mills McCartney's hand off, leaving her with two artificial limbs.

@eraserheadpixies (now representing norwegian xanax and JESU...: Bjork thinks illuminating moisturizers are a total sham.

@stacyinbean: Bjork just installed a stripper pole in her reindeer stable to amuse the animals during the off-season.

@BabyPHAT: Bjork, a lonely loser, wishes you would list some of your favourites just so she doesn't feel so ashamed of spending most of the weekend thinking up new ones. Bjork thanks you in advance.

Bjork thinks geraniums smell like cat piss.

Bjork has always been puzzled when passengers applaud after the pilot lands the airplane — would they boo if he missed the runway and crashed the plane into the woods?

Bjork can't understand why David Spade bags so many hot chicks.

Bjork has to go to spin class now and is totes bitter that she can't stay and play with all the elitist queen bee bitches who are ruining Jezebel!

Bjork has no interest in making fetch happen and is a Regina all the way!

Bjork hated Forrest Gump and will no longer eat boxes of chocolate because of said hatred.

@nadarine: Bjork was spotted baking massive batches of hash brownies in a farmhouse on the Saskatchewan prairie.

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: Bjork loves shopping at IKEA, and always stops at the cafe to enjoy the meatballs.