@eraserheadpixies (now representing norwegian xanax and JESU...: Bjork deeply regrets ever shaving above the knee.

In addition to the crabs, Bjork also once saw a large lobster claw emerge from the dark recesses of Paris Hilton's vagina, and then quickly retreat back inside.

Bjork is an atheist because she once had a very lifelike dream in which God was simply John McEnroe dressed in a sequined evening gown.

Bjork fucking hates swans and was happy to kill one and then wear it to the Oscars. She choked the shit out of that thing with her own Icelandic hands.

Bjork has been told by a reliable source that Robert Redford and Clint Eastwood have had their scrotums lifted.

Bjork remembers fondly when Vince Vaughn used to be smoking hot.

Bjork thinks Julia Roberts' husband is a lot hotter than she is.

Bjork has seen John Travolta with her own eyes spraypainting his head while staring lustily at the ass of Viggo Mortensen.

Bjork didn't think "No Country For Old Men" was all that fucking awesome.

Bjork has never understood who decides when it's Easter.

Bjork hates Mork because he's so goddamned hairy.

Bjork is deeply disturbed that she finds George W. Bush slightly attractive, especially that photo with him and the newborn twins.

Bjork is actually the woman who didn't get off the toilet for two years.

Bjork wonders why Tim Conway always got so many more laughs than Harvey Korman.

Bjork wishes everyone would stick to the pattern of this thread and stop making one-word Bjork jokes and says: Concentrate, people!!! It goes like this ...

Bjork has an irrational fear of Julianne Moore.

Bjork has actually seen real crabs scurrying out of Paris Hilton's vagina.

Bjork has a particular fondness for seal meat wrapped in bacon and grilled on an open fire.

Bjork thinks Lance Armstrong was faking ball cancer to get chicks.

Bjork has an unhealthy obsession with Maury Povich and often fantasizes that she's Connie Chung and handcuffed to the bedposts.