You're thinking of the Vulva Helmet.

Smartphone timeouts are a real thing, and coco and I have to do them.

Not going to lie, the major thing I took out of this article was "HOLY SHIT, another iPhone game!"

I keep waiting for that to become a dance trend so I can become a YouTube star. Alas.

Twerking grew out of bounce, New Orleans based rap and dance music - it's been around since the early 90s. But it was just a single call to do a dance move (most bounce songs have the call/response type lyrics where the performer calls out moves and the audience does them) and THERE ARE SO MANY MORE AND BETTER MOVES.

Clap for the Lord with those ass cheeks.

So I had surgery recently, and my mom was helping care for me for the first 2 days. The first night, she came by my apartment to cook for me, help me bathe, etc. I keep my condoms in my panty/bra drawer in my dresser, and there are a few different kinds I've amassed, there are probably about 20-30 (hey, better safe…

My little TurkeyDog snuck into the bedroom while MrDusa and I were making a pot of boner soup and stole my NuvaRing off the nightstand. The thief.

My dog once licked a guys feet while we were doing it...

Be completely up front with the guy. I told everyone that I dated that I was depressed and had wicked menstrual mood swings (screaming, crying, throwing things, then suddenly sunshiney) and that I would try to give them a heads up for the couple of days to ignore me. I lucked out and found one that showed up with…

It's a beautiful sunny Sunday, I have been relatively productive, and somewhere nearby a Mariachi band is playing. Meanwhile, I can't shake the text-message radio-silence blues. I was hoping to hear from a few friends who are only in town for a few days, but they have yet to respond to my texts. Meanwhile, thanks to…

So, tomorrow's the first official day of work at both my current and former job (high school teacher), and a small part of me is curious if any of my old co-workers will call or text me tomorrow when they find out I'm not there. Other than my previous principal and department head, no one knows that I left. No going…

I like how you two own it, too. Happy Sunday, Jezzers!!

I mean, I'm not gonna have sex with this post or anything... But still. You are exactly right. New words. New pervs. New, exceedingly low horizons of Sunday afternoon not-quite-really-educational tomfuckery to indulge in with the interwebs...

Fuck cuts... my favourite.

that v thing is the male cleavage. it is a sexy sexy thing.

This post is pure heaven. It perfectly meets all of my emotional needs, combining as it does interesting history with new big words to learn, both while displaying a total lack of decorum as it discusses perversion. This post is my destiny.

I seriously hope that they have prerecorded phrases like any other toy.

Missed the mutha fuckin' boat.

PERFECTION. If only they could be mine...