“to be the most famous person in the world is not that bad.”

Melania has one duty: to publicly cheat on her husband in the most humiliating way possible. If she fulfills it, all will be forgiven.

michelle obama sure seemed to think the position had responsibilities, and i, for one, thank her for her herculean efforts.

We all want Melania to be a wealthy widow.

Melania wanted to be a wealthy widow. Who would have thought that sentient oedema would live this long? I’m sure she’s never urged him to eat a salad or join he at the gym. Meanwhile, she’s keeping fit, ready to snag husband #2. I’m sure she’s pissed Trump hasn’t dropped dead of a massive coronary yet

we didn’t want this either, melania...

Jesus Christ. My heart just crumbled a little.

Oh god that’s just freakin’ awful!

OMG.

I’ve been thinking lately they should change the stars on the american flag to dollar signs. This country pretends to care about family, children in particular. It doesn’t. Money is the one true god. I don’t know why some companies even pretend to care about their employees anymore.

I have a teenager, and I can tell you that you don’t have to be Mommy Dearest to have your kid sullenly trailing behind you.

That sounds like knife catching

Beef is for Christmas. Beef Tenderloin with Bearnaise sauce to be exact. Out of guilt I refrain from asking mother how much it costs her to feed the 12 - 15 of us.

On the bright side, some limo driver is going to get more work.

Oh he ded.

The Earth is not flat.

Your first sentence is gold.