I took both quizes, as a guy, I'm:

Texas?

I thought they seceded.

God knows they won't stop talking about it . . . .

. . . which is a non-denominational public school . . .

Aren't all public schools supposed to be "non-denominational"?

What did I miss?

The real story here is that Florida gave him a withheld judgement and five years probation, not an outright conviction.

There, Patterson introduced her to Thor...

I want to make this a reality: "Probably a gangstarap styled slice of the Village People are the most useful of the day."

Can't stop/won't stop.

Oh I got the BEST one yesterday!!!

$2500 to teach someone how to cook couscous and fresh fruit/veggies?

Well christ on a crutch, you would think they'd at least have to ASK women about a nickel allergy. Nickel dermatitis is not uncommon. My mother had it. She could only wear 14k gold (or better), some stainless steel, or platinum. Anything else and she would turn into a walking rash.

Why would something that is surgically inserted into the body contain nickel? Is the composition important? I thought that Essure basically just made the body get mad at it and try to seal it up with scar tissue.

I hope she doesn't suicide, as the little mermaid dies in the original story.

Well, yes, by high school girls know that princesses and fairy tales aren't real...and yet, do they? They spent years—formative years—believing in fairy tales, and maybe even having those fairy tales reinforced by adults. My grandmother wanted nothing more than for her beloved granddaughter to be whisked away by a…

Don't feel bad, Madeleine. I look like a sad, old vampire clown all the time. If you own it, then it becomes your signature look.

I'd probably make her head explode. I'm an atheist who celebrates the FUCK outta Christmas. I LOVE it. Just not the, you know, religious aspects. But peace on earth, goodwill toward men? That's a notion I can totally get behind.

And yet they've never done a Star Trek tie-in, in spite of the fact that both Charmin and the Enterprise circle Uranus, picking off Klingons.

Trader Joe's. It is delicious, but if possible, I'd like to avoid dreams of Bono.

You could eat all the cheddar in the world before bed and still never have that precious Tom Hiddleston encounter that you've been hoping for.

Sorry, bud. Instead of Satan possessing you, you just get the ghost of Richard Nixon. Rough.

Seriously, I would be motivated to run so much faster, all the while singing Iron Maiden's "666, the number of the beast..." in my head.