I hope she doesn't suicide, as the little mermaid dies in the original story.

Well, yes, by high school girls know that princesses and fairy tales aren't real...and yet, do they? They spent years—formative years—believing in fairy tales, and maybe even having those fairy tales reinforced by adults. My grandmother wanted nothing more than for her beloved granddaughter to be whisked away by a…

Don't feel bad, Madeleine. I look like a sad, old vampire clown all the time. If you own it, then it becomes your signature look.

I'd probably make her head explode. I'm an atheist who celebrates the FUCK outta Christmas. I LOVE it. Just not the, you know, religious aspects. But peace on earth, goodwill toward men? That's a notion I can totally get behind.

And yet they've never done a Star Trek tie-in, in spite of the fact that both Charmin and the Enterprise circle Uranus, picking off Klingons.

Quite the other way around, the crows gave him wisdom in exchange for a tasty, tasty eyeball.

These remind me of one of my favourite artists from the last decade—Micah Wright. He did some wonderfully insightful (and sometimes scary) "remixed propaganda" posters for the Bush era. And apparently he's still up to it, bless his heart.

And now for some PRO Commie posters!

America under communism means black people getting beaten up? Isn't that just like America under capitalism?

Nazi Germany was good at it too.If you're going to be a totalitarian dictatorship you have to persuade,fool and dupe your public.

Chimpanzee: We use sticks to dig up termites!

When I was an undergrad at the University of Washington there were many crows on campus and it was common knowledge that they used to have a lot of fun walking out on branches with sticks in their beaks and would wait until students walked underneath them and drop the sticks on their heads. The crows would LAUGH. …

Trader Joe's. It is delicious, but if possible, I'd like to avoid dreams of Bono.

You could eat all the cheddar in the world before bed and still never have that precious Tom Hiddleston encounter that you've been hoping for.

Does lego even make regular generic bricks anymore? It seems like everything I see at the toy stores are basically models with bricks that are mostly application-specific.

Sorry, bud. Instead of Satan possessing you, you just get the ghost of Richard Nixon. Rough.

Seriously, I would be motivated to run so much faster, all the while singing Iron Maiden's "666, the number of the beast..." in my head.

IT'S NOT REAL. The number 666 is an error and it should be 616.

...And then Rossy realized, to his horror, that he wasn't alone.

As a Washington State voter, anti-GMO activists are currently highest on my shit list.