Personally, I'm willing to settle for Self-Absorbed Hollywood Asshat.

I'd hit that. (If I was driving that bus)

Yes, the cold, dead eyes of the cigarette ads are still better than this.

I'm glad this weird-ass thing exists, and that I can see photos of it - but man, it sounds awful to actually attend.

Heat is not my friend. And this would be heat + overpowering B.O.

Maleos are endangered by invasive species, environmental encroachment and the new 4-Piece Maleo Meal at McDonald's!

Maybe it was a reference to the taste.

Thinly Veiled Godwin is my Stripper cover band.

I don't know, but two million people displaced from their homes is something that can't be ignored. Of course, we already ignored it in Rwanda and look what happened there.

Few people know the inflatable diving suit was originally a prototype for New Order video.

Florida has, sadly, been sawed off, and is adrift due to the actions of a large gray rabbit with a Bronxy-Brooklyny accent.

Oh, wow, this is so great! I'm glad I'm getting that pin because I still look super white at the moment.

Wait wait wait. Back the train up. Do other people NOT like cheese? I don't know how to take this knowledge. My love of cheese is so strong I might be upset on its behalf.

At least she didn't go to Chik-Fil-A?

.... a former 17 year old stripper?

Parallel/tangential question (go away, geometry nerds): what about the reverse? If a man honest to god thinks he's screwing a minor, but she's not, is that illegal?

"We like our Nazis in uniform. That way we can spot 'em just like that. We're gonna give you a little something you can't take off."

Looking at it, I'd say he should have kept the Boshevik-Jews on staff, because he's a pretty crappy jeweler.

Cool, so with my adult-acne laden face which I barely cover with makeup because I'm lazy as fuck, and my natural hairstyle—gray hairs, half-assedly blowdried, I should be able to land a shitty retail job at Abercrombie! Oh no, I can't, I'm fat. Damn, guess I'll have to stick to making more than $8.00 an hour and not…

In not-so-ancient Europe:

The first son inherited the family wealth.
The second son joined the military.
The third son joined the priesthood.

Well played nature. Well played.

Because a persons looks have nothing to do with an abusive power dynamic.