Yeah, listen, I’m all for an athlete dunking on some heckling rube on Twitter. That’s all in good fun. But you never full-scale engage in a multi-tweet showdown and you DEFINITELY do not do a Barstool-esk targeted harassment campaign against them.

That’s the kind of stuff performers traditionally did after the show, backstage.

Obviously her being underage makes it 10 times worse, but pulling a random woman out of the crowd to kiss and fondle is creepy in general

I just find it hard to believe that was the real Rudy Giuliani in that interview. I mean he didn’t even mention 9/11 one time

If Guliani was smart...

I am offended by that insinuation!

Ahh yes the “zero” that Meuller has gotten. I mean it’s not like he’s gotten convictions for numerous Trump campaign and administration officials like his campaign manager, his National Security Advisor, and his personal lawyer.

Internet: There will be a real life Pikachu Detective Movie.

It’s hard to know what to say. I’m a gay man who got pretty screwed up by my particular religious upbringing and had a very hard time articulating my sexuality to my father (who is an infinitely better man than Mac’s dad). So that final dance was brutal (and my god, if you ever doubted De Vito can act watch his…

If Fifty Cent wants to make beef with me, he should buy all the stuff at my yard sale. That’ll show me!

“I am committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to the president.”

He looks like the guy who, whenever somebody mentions ordering pizza at the smokeout, always wants to order Papa Johns. 

“Said a damp fan” is a slow burn that I fear will go underappreciated.

he looks like every actor ever cast to yell random things in an Adam Sandler movie

He looks like Mark Cuban’s deadbeat brother who works at Arby’s and posts Roommate Wanted ads on craigslist; while using the money his brother sends him to keep up to date on his several porn paysite subscriptions.

There’s no such thing as “nothing.” Even after the death of the universe, quantum fluctuations will more than likely ignite a new universe, just like a fluctuation ignited this one.

I have to actually believe it, though. And I don’t, they’re all so fucking stupid and so OBVIOUSLY human-created.

No, because I didn’t exist to BE terrified. But now I am here, and the prospect of nothingness scares the shit out of me.

You reminded me of the Banksy quote that we die twice, once when when take our final breath and again when someone mentions our name for the last time.

“just another minor leaguer on a hot streak” is not how you describe a guy who just had a better season at age 19 than Mike Trout did