Joel Osteen also believes you can pray the gay away. Just saying.

Well, this was embarrassingly poorly edited.

Indecision? Retention of options? I don’t know. I have one request I haven’t answered; it’s from a batshit insane Trump supporter I know from college. I think I’m waiting until impeachment/resignation to accept it so I can rub it in his face.

For something we were waiting for with such enthusiasm... it wasn’t very exciting. Sure, they managed to create some tense moments, but basically it tied up a bunch of loose ends mostly as you’d expect and wasted a ton of a time on a whiny, “okay I’ll join you, j/k no, alright I’m totally in this time slash I’m…

Never said Wentz is a star (I mean, he’s in the same list as Alex Smith here), but he’s a competent QB. A 62% completion rate with more TDs than INTs is damn good for a rookie. Winston and Mariota are good, with the upside to be really good. Carr had a 28:6 TD:INT last year — hardly “meh” stuff.

There are more competent QBs than that: Newton, Winston, Mariota, Dalton, Alex Smith, Carr, Wentz, Palmer.

You have a funny definition of “listening.”

I’m in Romania right now, and I got a month-long phone plan with 34 GB — yes, 34 GB — of data for $15. And there’s 4G coverage basically everywhere. And I can make my phone a hotspot without paying an additional charge. Almost makes me not miss America (and Verizon) at all.

“online demonstrations” ... so, uh, Nazi chatrooms? Cool, guys. Your revolution is going well.

This is the new “I’m not a racist! I have black friends!”

“Howard is a predominately ‘black’ school, which either way SHOULDN’T MATTER.”

Are we just going to ignore the role of the Home Run Derby in this?

In 2015, Decker put up a stat line not altogether dissimilar to the ones he posted with Peyton Manning while catching balls from Ryan Fitzpatrick, so... what was your point again?

I don’t have time for all the golf and treason that position requires.

Wish I could get paid $10 million a year for sucking at my job.

As a Jets fan, I just... don’t like football anymore. I mean, it’s not just because of the Jets — I mean, the Falcons, what the fuck? But it’s also mostly because of the Jets.

This is just a reminder that Netflix has an enormous data advantage over basically every other TV-making company in that it has its very own, extremely detailed ratings data — not only how much its shows are watched, precisely, but whether people binge them, whether they turn them off 10 minutes or 30 minutes in, etc.…

How about How To Be a Polite Budtender? I’ve had some great dispensary experiences, but I’ve also had some really terrible ones — one in particular in Colorado where the people acted like they didn’t want us to be there and like we were naive morons who knew nothing about weed. They acted like any request we had to…

Am I the only one who went to a museum exhibit about patterns recently and thus knows what Voronoi tesselations are?