I was once on a cruise ship that was caught up in the Mediterranean version of a hurricane. It was awesome. That is all.

I’m sorry, but you deserve none of those stars.

And this is why you should get a real water filter. Brita is just good branding.

And this is why you should get a real water filter. Brita is just good branding.

Yes! Denise is an amazing character.

The fact that you put not just A&W (which is at least good), but also Mug and Barq’s (seriously?) above Stewart’s means you don’t know the first thing about root beer. This is outrageous and you should be burned at the stake.

1. Donald Trump is doing this for a secret TV show.

It is?

They’re pretty much crushing it and continuing to crush it, revenue-wise.

Real talk: Leo doesn’t deserve an Oscar for this — not because the role called for so little dialogue, but because it simply wasn’t a terribly impressive acting performance. The movie was surprisingly mediocre (which is attributable more to the script than anything else) and his performance was good, but hardly the…

And yet there’s an argument to be made that actual sports betting is more ethical than daily fantasy.

As a writer who is also white and male, please keep reading things by white male writers.

Are you to have me believe that today’s scientists can science a skeleton right together, like Moses parting the Red Sea? That’s absurd. Those bones came from snakes, porcupines and the occasional lobster, and “science” has just “scienced” those together into another scam to bleed the taxpayers dry. Well I’m not…

It was kind of Adrian Peterson to provide this photo even though it was taken by the man who shot him.

That “whoosh” you just heard was the joke going over your head.

“Tom’s a great driving instructor, but he kept giggling whenever he said ‘stick shift’ until I just pulled over by the side of the road and blew him. After that, he said the lesson was over, so I walked home. Four stars.”

No, no, no. It’s “doobies.”

One more really annoying text thing: when people have the “callback number” listed at the end of each and every fucking one of their texts, and it’s the same number you’ve been texting, so it’s completely fucking irrelevant anyway, and WHY. WHY, YOU ASSHOLES, WHY.

Hey, whatever works for you.

I know exactly what Lozzle means — I’ve probably put 60 hours into it, and I feel kind of like I’ve wasted a lot of that time. I only play Fallout 4 because it’s like a bad habit. For a game that’s so expansive, it’s also awfully repetitive and shallow.

I’ve met the guy. He’s awesome.